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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Real, date, premarital, Muslim, Muslims

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Question by Alissa:

Are Muslim men who have pre-marital sex and date REAL muslims?

I am currently seeing a man who is Muslim. He lived in Morocco until maybe 5 or 6 years ago. He lives in America now with his Dad, brother, and sister. The mom could not get permission (Visa?) to come to America so they visit her sometimes in Morocco.
We had our first date (which from what I have researched, Muslims aren't supposed to date at all, yet a Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian woman, so how do you ever marry of you can't date, but that is another topic that I don't need answered right now). We ended up having sex although it took quite a bit of persuasion on his part but I caved eventually. Question 1: Is he a bad Muslim for having pre-marital sex? Next point: If I ever wanted to marry him, do you think he could or would marry me if he loved me? Here is the dilemma....He says his dad was married to an American woman in the past and she left him for another man. When I date someone, it is to see if I would ever consider marrying them, so this man I am dating haas potential. If his Dad married an American woman maybe someday he will marry me, but I have been doing some research tha says it is ok for Muslim man to lie to a woman to persuade her to the bed. I told hiom a long time ago I did not want to have sex right away. Pre-marital sex is ok with me, but first date or second date sex is something I try to avoid and he knows my beliefs on that, yet on the first date he was still very persuasive and I am wondering #2: Is it MORE LIKELY that he is trying to build up my hopes of a potential marriage in teh future, by saying his Dad married an American, just to lie to have sex with me. Because if I thought there was no potential I wouldn't even consider dating him the first time...or is it MORE LIKELY he is not a good Muslim because he had sex with me, in which case their is more chance that we could marry someday if he doesn'tfollow the practices of Morocco Muslims where he is from? Either he lied to sleep with me, which makes him a bad Muslim, or he is telling the truth about the marriage potential, which makes him a bad Muslim. I'm very confused here so ANY knowledgeable insight would be greatly appreciated. From my research, he SEEMS very Muslim in most cases, right down from what he eats and how he acts (like not just asking about me, but asking about me, my daughter, my dogs) bringing a gift when he comes over to my house and so on. Thanks in advance.
To Scotsgirl: Perhaps you are right, my issue may be if he is a good or bad boyfriend not just good or bad Muslim. It goes hand in hand you see, if he is a great Muslim, I don't have as much of a chance with him and he is only with me for sex....but then again, that very statement is contradictory because if he is in this for the sex, then he is a sinning Muslim. He has already proven he doesn't follow everything I have read about all of the Muslim traditions. The main point...I don't want to be with someone who has NO POTENTIAL to marry me ever so I am just trying to get some answers about that. My question may be bad because I don't really know what to ask, because their is not a certain answer I am trying to obtain. Just some advice or insight. Myabe someone will find this post and be able to offer something that I have not read or been able to find.

Best answer:

Answer by amin r
I just don't get it myself. where does it say in the Koran that muslims can't date???
Can someone tell me this??

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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Are Muslim men who have pre-marital sex and date REAL muslims?

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